There is this place which seems so foreign to me, that I need to talk about. It's victim-hood. Allowing ourselves to be a victim. Why would we do that? By feeling victimized we allow something external to us determine our course, and it's usually not rational. There are no victims. Only individuals who choose to think of themselves as such.
I have a friend, who, when I first met her and we talked about my spiritual beliefs, said I've always believed this way, but never realized anyone else did. She shared with me that she had been stabbed, shot and raped, but never felt that she was a victim and moved on out of the darkness of the moment into the knowing that those actions were not her. She is a vibrant, happy, well rounded and vital member of her community. She is prosperous, happy and on the move with her career and her life.
The point is, we don't need to dwell on those things that have happened "to" us in the past, because it is over and done, and only effects us, if we allow it to. If we wish to move on with our lives, we need to move forward, and leave the past behind.
Any sense of victim-hood that we may feel comes from a sense or feeling that is already within us. In order to move ahead with our lives, we must figure out what that thing is, determine whether it really serves us, decide if we are willing to let this story of who we think we are, is where we want to be, and if and when we're willing let it go. If I let the monkey off my back, I will feel the lightness.
It's about accepting what is, and moving into a higher idea what can be!